I Was OK. . .

I was OK when Kristopher got so sick and dehydrated right after he turned 1 that he had to spend the night in the hospital hooked up to IV's.

(even when I could hear him from the hallway screaming as they wrapped him up in a sheet like a mummy so they could put the IV in his tiny little hand)

I was OK when Kristopher was 3 and jumped off something he wasn't supposed to jump off and broke his arm.

(even when I saw his arm dangling like an S)

(even when they had to set his little arm right there in the ER while I held him on the bed)

I was even OK the first time Kris was climbing up the back of the couch and fell and bit into his tongue and left a gaping hole.

(seriously unless you saw it you wouldn't believe it)

But last night at Kale's baseball game Kris did it again.

Literally again.

He bit his tongue!

Now last time we took him into the ER between 4 doctors they decided not to stitch it and let it heal on its own because in order to stitch a tongue they have to put you to sleep - and they didn't think the risk of infection was greater than the risk of putting a small child under, so we let it heal and heal itself it did. . .

But last night it opened all over again, and I was OK. (in fact the other mom's couldn't believe I was holding it together)

Oh. . . and I should mention that Kyle is at a scout meeting with no cell phone on which he could be called.

So all 3 kids and I head to the ER together.

Kale was incredibly dirty and in a baseball uniform

(and he was worried that if the hospital just cleaned their floors he was going to get them dirty with his cleats full of dirt)

Kara - bless her - slept in the stroller.

and Kris just stuck out his tongue to every doctor, nurse and patient who wanted to see.

Kyle had impeccable timing - after returning home and finding a panicked message telling him to get to the hospital - he literally walked through the hospital doors as the nurse was calling us back.

I opted to stay with Kris since Kyle had court the next day.

BIG MISTAKE!

For the first time in dealing with Kristopher's  misfortunes (or any of my kids disasters)

I WAS NOT OK.

I highly do not recommend "sleepless sedation" for your children.

If you are and I hope you are never - but if you are in a situation where the doctor says,

"we are going to use sleepless sedation"  - JUST RUN.

So in all fairness the procedure was completely explained to me.

How safe it was, but that it did cause the child's eyes to move back and forth during the procedure "mimiking" a seizure (but it's perfectly normal)

How when he woke up he may do or say some funny or abnormal things 

(but it's perfectly normal)

How they would be monitoring his vital signs the entire time, but if something did happen all they would have to do is just give him more oxegyn and he would be fine 

(even though the biggest crash cart I have seen in real life was wheeled in next to his bed)

and finally

How the stitching itself would be the easy part - the hard part is pulling his tongue out of his mouth so it could be stitched.

I thought I was prepared . . .

So I'm fine - I'm sitting down - I'll admit I have a few anxieties - and then in walks every doctor at the ER that night I swear.

Here are a few of the phrases I heard:

A "higher up" doctor says,

"we ARE doing a sleepless sedation?  No one told me.  OK have we double checked everything"

Same "higher up" doctor says to Kris's doctor

"Doctor, can I talk to you in the hallway for a minute?"

Nurse asks another nurse

"Could you double check my dosage again"

And when the doctors come back into the room they have brought with them yet another even "higher up" doctor to "help out"

One part of me told myself to be grateful that everything is being checked and re-checked and that there are plenty of doctors helping my son - BUT my stomach started to ache and my palms became sweaty and I realized I hadn't gone to the bathroom in over 14 hours and the other part of me started to think. . . 

maybe this isn't as routine as it was made out to be . . . maybe there are more risks than I am aware of . . . maybe I made the wrong decision when I gave consent . . . Where is my husband right now. . . Why am I here by myself. . .

So the IV is put into place - (I will leave details up to your imagination, but kids don't like getting things poked in their hands with wires hanging out of them - wait, adults don't like it either, but we're looked down upon if we cry and scream as my child did)

Then he goes to sleep and looks peaceful enough - vitals look great -the tongue pulling begins - turns out my child is a fighter and is clenching down so hard on the doctors fingers that another dose of medicine is needed to calm him down. Finally after much ordeal the doctor starts to stitch - and Kristopher starts MOANING - like the worst moaning imaginable. I have tried to write this next sentence a million times to explain how gutwrenching this moan was and I seriously cannot put words together to form the feelings I felt.

YOU DIDN'T PREPARE ME FOR THIS . . .

I WAS PREPARED FOR HIS EYES MOVING BACK AND FORTH

which they did and was not fun to watch

BUT YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MOANING.

The doctor kept assuring me he can't feel it and he won't remember it,

BUT he's MOANING. And his feet and legs are twitching.

So he's moaning and twitching - someone is pulling his tongue out of his mouth - someone else is suctioning what I consider massive amounts of blood from his mouth - and the doctor is sticking a needle and thread in his tongue.

After 3 doses of the medicine and 3 stitches in his tongue they were finally done.

I have to say this was the worst thing I personally have had to go through as a parent.

Then all the doctors and nurses left and the room was cleaned up a little and I was left with my little boy to be there with him when he woke up. As I sat next to him minute after minute looking back and forth between his face and the monitor to make sure all vitals were good - I realized that Heavenly Father has given me such a STRONG little BOY! I thought back to all the times I have struggled with Kristopher over everyday things and sometimes have thrown my hands up in frustration with the feeling that nothing works with him - I can't get through to him - HE IS TOO STRONG! And I realized the character trait of his  - that strong willed personality - that I all to often complain about is what gets him through things like this. We were in that ER for 8 1/2 hours last night and only once did Kristopher get frustrated that it was taking too long. And the only tears shed by him that entire time was when the IV was being put in.  

HERE IS MY STRONG, STRONG BOY!

You can't imagine what it looked like gaping open - 

the picture does not do it justice!