Remembering

It's been 10 years since my mom passed away.

I've been thinking a lot about her this past weekend,

especially with it being Kale's birthday.

She passed away just 3 days after Kale's 1st Birthday.

I'm so grateful that she got to spend her last year with him and that he got to spend his first year with her.

This is my mom holding Kale in her arms for the first time as he entered into this life.

And as she was leaving this life she again was holding his little hand one last time.

I expected Kale's birth to be hard. Everyone told me it was hard.

It was a week before my due date and I was induced early in the morning.

I remember when the contractions started coming really hard I felt most of the pain in my upper legs.

I had expected back pain, or cramping in my stomach, but not in my legs and it was intense.

I couldn't get that epidural fast enough.

And once I got the epidural I felt absolutely no pain whatsoever.

I even took a nap.

At just before 1:00 the nurse came in to check on me and told us it was time to start pushing.

Now, my mom and my sister were driving down from Boise so that they could be at Kale's birth. They were supposed to leave early that morning and be to the hospital by noon, but my mom's blood levels were very low and they had to go to the hospital and give her a transfusion before they would let her travel.

So they didn't leave to make the 4 hour drive until after 1:00.

So when it was time to push I knew my mom would miss seeing him born and that made me sad (but remember it is childbirth so at this point you don't care and you want that baby out)

I started pushing.

And pushing.

And pushing.

And while my doctor told me I was a really good pusher, Kale was a big boy and it was taking him a long time to make his way down.

I pushed some more.

Every 10 seconds.

I thought if I heard anyone else count to 10 I was going to lose my mind.

It's after 3 by this point, and I'm still pushing.

And pushing and pushing.

And I have a wonderful midwife who would not give up on me. At this point I'm sure there are doctors who would have just opted for a c-section.

It's now after 4:00 and my doctor looks at me and says, "if he's not here by 5:00 we are going to have to do a c-section, but I know we can do this"

At this point, she tried the vacuum. No luck.

Then a nurse straddled me on the bed to put pressure on Kale's little bum to try to help him down. No luck.

And finally, the doctor (because the midwife can't use forceps) came in and after three tries with the forceps Kale was born at 5:03 pm.

And as he was crying for that first time my mom and sister came through the door.

In a way I was sad that she missed his actual birth.

But I'm glad she didn't have to see me go through everything to get him here.

And right after they got there, my mother in law came running into the room!

They were so happy.

I was exhausted.

I was shaking so bad right after he was born, that when the nurse came over to hand him to me for the first time I was so scared I would drop him, that I looked at her and said, "can you give him to his dad?" I had no idea the video camera was on and it was forever captured on film that I didn't even want to hold my baby! (It's a joke around here)

Turns out Kale was big. Over 9lbs BIG! And he was posterior which didn't aid in the birthing process!

But through it all I felt no pain. I felt nothing. I had an epidural that didn't wear off until the next morning.

In fact the most embarrassing part about Kale's birth for me (and this is saying alot because not only did it take 4 hours of my legs spread wide open to get him here, they were spread open for another 2 hours so that I could get a billion stitches put in. . . ((too much info I know sorry)) was for some reason unknown to me still, they took my catheter out, and the nurse kept coming into my room that night telling me I couldn't go to bed until I had gone to the bathroom.

I kept telling her I didn't need to go to the bathroom (which was odd I thought because all I had done since giving birth was drink bucket loads of sprite. It's all I wanted. And Kyle probably filled that hospital water pitcher up at least 5 times full of sprite for me!)

She finally came in and said she needed to take me to the bathroom before her shift ended. I still couldn't feel my legs. She practically had to carry me into the bathroom.

She left the door open just slightly as she left and this is the conversation I hear as I'm sitting in the bathroom between my mother in law and the nurse.

Kathy "I'm surprised she hasn't had to go the bathroom sooner. She really has been drinking alot since he was born."

Nurse "Oh she has gone to the bathroom. I just needed to get her off the sheets so that I could change them."

I WAS DYING!

I HAD BEEN WETTING MY BED FOR A GOOD THREE HOURS AND DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!

Who knew all that came along with childbirth?????

I guess Kale just knew he couldn't make his entrance into the world if his Grandma's weren't going to be right there to immediately spoil him!